"Success is not fame, money or power. Success is waking up in the morning so excited about what you have to do that you literally FLY out of the door. Success is getting to work with the people you love. Success is finding a way of connecting and binding them together. Success is connecting with the world. Success is falling asleep knowing you did the best you could. Success is joy, friendship and freedom. Success is LOVE”
This summer was all of this... This summer was the definition of success. It was not about money, it was not about making anyone else happy, it was not about meeting expectations... It was about the experience. It was about the adventure of being alone, of knowing almost no one, of having to make friends, of living in a new city, of living on my own. It was freedom, it was legitimately constant excitement and smiles, it was waking up at 5 without an alarm, because I was soooo excited to see what the days had in store for me. I made friendships that will last a lifetime, I fell more in love with the city, I pushed myself to try new things, and I was the happiest I've ever been... (don't get me wrong, by this I mean consecutively... like... there were no bad days! If you don't believe me... reread all my entries! I'll bet my next paycheck on it!)
These past two summers have been incredible... What more could a girl ask for? I have spent the last two summers in homes away from home. I felt at home in both places... I literally was home (in Uruguay) last summer, but I also felt at home in New York... I don't know why I got so lucky, but I really am grateful...
Being back has been a struggle... Though I thought jumping into work would make it easier, it really hasn't. It isn't that I'm not happy to be home and to see my friend and family, because I am... But it is as if I had walked away from my life... I feel like a part of my life is missing... I feel like I should be waking up and walking to Washington Square to grab coffee or meeting Adam to go exploring. I feel like I should be seeing my coworkers, like I should be checking for my badge when I leave home... I even miss the smells of the city! In a way, I feel like I got pulled away too quickly, like I blinked and it was gone... Last summer, I had the pleasure of sharing my life in Uruguay with three of my best friends. When I got back, it was easier (but by no means EASY) to adjust, because I had them... I had the memories and I had the stories... I had people that wanted to reminisce on the little things, I had them to get excited over dumb things. This time returning home has been more difficult. Since Adam is not back, there is no one waiting to laugh about the little things and to retell the same dumb stories... this time, its just me... At least for a few more weeks.
Today, someone asked me if anything exciting happened while I was in New York. I was stunned, tongue tied, speechless. What do I say? There are so many stories I would love to tell, so many shows I would love to re live, so many foods I want to recommend... but I know these people don't have 5 or 12 hours to listen... I know they just want to hear that it was awesome and my internship rocked... Still I wish Adam was here! I wish he could sit at work with me and sing along to Ghost as we prepare the Freshman Retreat. I wish my intern friends were here so we could laugh at the fact that after 7 days of being in Mississippi I was at a farm painting a chicken coop!!! I know these feelings will pass and Adam's return will bring back a bit of New York, but right now, that life, my life in New York, seems only like a dream. And now, its back to the real life.
Before embarking on my trip to New York, I was so nervous! I didn't know what to expect... I barely knew one person in New York, and he was just my coworker from home... Who knew if we'd even see each other half as much as we planned. Now looking back... I know that in two months I managed to:
- reach my goal and watch 20 Broadway performances (17 different shows)
- start what could be a long career at a firm that takes incredible care of their people
- explore the ins and outs of a city I quickly grew to love
- make friendships that will last a lifetime
- realize that though I may still feel like a kid, I am older than I feel
but most importantly I realize that I can make it out there!
Therefore, I can conclude my summer and say that there was no reason to be nervous. I know nerves will come and go, and as a worrier, I will worry... but this summer has shown me that life could turn on a dime, but it will all be ok... it will be better than ok! I am sooo grateful that I had people who pushed me when I had doubts, because looking back, this summer was nothing short of SUCCESS!!! I left with nothing but good memories, songs, and stories to last a lifetime. Thank you so much for sharing this wonderful experience with me from near and far! I enjoyed it a million times more knowing that I could share it with you!
For now... goodbye, until my next adventure, whether it be Germany or somewhere else!
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| As horrible as this picture is... I think it speaks a thousand words! |
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